Wednesday, December 30, 2009

awesomeness isnt real

yeah!it's been awhile since my last's been ages.
i missed you bloggy but seriously,i have no time to's been hectic.
and here i am to blurt things out.

firstly first,what's up with the future anyway?what's up with parents.
i'm having a really REALLY difficult time to think about what i should be in the so-called-future(if i have any).comon parents,i know i'm ur daughter and u are responsible to take care of me till i get be-wedded.i do do want to please u guys but u've been pulling my arms on this matter for a long time.i reaaaaally dont want to persue my life living the life i dont want.being things i dont want.comonla,not all doctors are great. if u leave things to me,i think i'll be a better interior designer or fashion designer than being little ms.doc. n guess what?! i'm not you little ms.doc!boohoo~~

secondly second,why am i feeling so numb all these while.i have a horrible toothache which made me stay up all night long staring at the fan bearing the pain.i'm feeling a little bit lost of self control which means that i've been swearing a lot.i mean it,A LOT.i'll get angry at every simple single thing that my bf do eventhough most of it was my fault.(he gets on my nerves).
and the most terrifying thing that happened to me is that,i've been comparing my life with other friends.(what the heck?!)and my life seems to be sucker than ever.

thirdly third,i think i have a serious memory problem since ayen's birthday.(i fell and bumped my head on a rock and nearly was months ago but the bump on my head is still there). i cant seem to remember things well as i used to do.i'll forget to bring my money every single day-which leads me hving a lot of debts.and being such a good daughter,i dont ask much from my parents.

moving on..i think i lost the ability to trust anyone to be my good friend.not that i'm not having any new friends,but u know what,i dont trust anyone of them.and i'm pitying social life is getting worser.i dont social much,i dont talk to people much these days and i think i had stopped talking bout any of my problems to anyone.poor me.

oh god,let things change.just give me some space and let me be my old self.i reaally want things to change.i really want to change.

ok,that's all.fuhh,released.


  1. yeah...tell me about it.i felt my life had changed too.making things worse,it changed to a boring one.and now,im lost.i'd even lost my passion to study deeb.still trying to find the reasons though
    once,i found myself.but now i lost it again.dont know how i found it before.and i dont know how to find it feel sucks man!!damn!!

  2. i missed u dear.
    i'm here if u need me. ;)

  3. friends thanks for being here.
    i know i have u jeje n qis.

    n to adib,isnt it ironic?having the same name n problem.
    urgghh i hate growing up.

  4. haha,it is..i just realised that though.
    maybe its just a part of growing'll pass by.

    eh,sory if i post the last comment twice.because something wrong with the computer when i posted it.just to make sure,so i wrote again.hehe hope u dont mind that